2025-12-22

loom by Dennis C. Esplain [1988] / rug by Lena Manymules [1990]

this rug is rad!

rug by Lena Manymules [1990]

i found this handmade loom and rug on Goodwill’s online store.

i love pick and pick weaving and the mirrored geometry of this piece has been on my mind.

last night i negotiated with myself, trying to decide whether or not i was going to buy it. i think it would be really cool to have as a learning tool, to study the loom construction and weaving pattern to try it out for myself.

do i really want this? yes!

do i have enough extra space to store this? no.

so then where am i going to put it? i don’t know.

back and forth and back and forth...

ultimately i decided that owning the experience of finding this treasure could be enough.

i saved the photos from the online listing to reference loom construction and the weaving pattern later.

yesterday also held another big event in rugs, for me.

i unfortunately discovered quite a bit of moth damage on the handwoven rug in my parlor. the rug Sam and i brought home from our honeymoon. a rug i love.

feeling a great sense of urgency, i sprung into action and thoroughly vacuumed the front and backside making sure i got every bit of casing, webbing, and frass. i threw away the rug pad that was underneath to avoid any carryover critters that may have stashed themselves in the soft mesh; and i wrapped the rug in plastic bags and put it in the freezer where it will be for the next 72 hours to ensure that any remaining pests are no more.

seeing the damage that had been done has been an emotional experience...

right there before my eyes was the visual representation of the past couple of years of my life, or so it had seemed to me in my emotional frame of mind.

i had been stagnant, in suspended animation, for years as the rest of the world continued to live, move, thrash, and eat away around me and right beneath my feet...

i feel embarrassed and ashamed, how could i – a rug repair professional - allow this to happen? shouldn’t i of all people know better?

and yet, that is also the silver lining. i am a rug repair professional with the tools, materials, and technical skills necessary to mend the damaged areas of my beloved woven piece. Sam and i joked several years ago when i first started doing rug repair that i could work on my own rugs should that time come. well, that time is now.

i am also still human. i make mistakes, and i can recover from those mistakes. these last couple few years have been so challenging, some of the most difficult to date.

i’ll be processing this for a little while now, particularly due to the slow process of rug repair. and also because of how much i’ve been carrying these challenges silently, turning inward and walling myself off. i see the evidence of that not just in the damage to my rug, but in the state of isolation i’ve been in. in the loneliness i’ve experienced. in the sadness, grief, and mourning i’ve been surrounded by...

i am human, and this will take me some time...